Mulling it over

Today was an alright day.

Finally bought that big ass book of Shakespeare. Currently reading "The Tempest". That should be a good one. I guess that I really wanted to read some shit that I hadn't read before. Plus, the good shit about it is, I don't have to worry about ignorant ass people typing in stupid shit about this new material I'm checking out. Not really new because my man isn't able to write any new shit. But, I'm going to enjoy it. The Sonnets are what I was going for, but 37 plays, his poetry, and all of the sonnets is not bad for $20. I'm looking at this as a good deal. This shit is awesome. Another alright thing about today, I got to write some lyrics. And really get into a groove. I've been in some sort of fucked up mood. I didn't feel like writing. Actually, as you may notice, I'm blogging less. This blog is getting more love than my myspace blogs. I need to get off of my ass and do that "DHH Part 9". Coming soon. I swear to you. I can't keep bullshitting.

Another good thing... I thought a lot about shit today. Watching this documentary: Black In America. I wondered, why none of that bad shit happened to me. Realistically, I had as many disadvantages as I had advantages. I don't live in a perfect community, and I'm damn sure not in college. I'm not on drugs, a drug dealer, not in a gang, not pregnant, and I don't really do anything more than get up, go to work, come home and bullshit on the internet. I also thought about considering college. I think I would go, just to prove to the nonbelievers. Just as a symbolic "shut the fuck up" moment. It would be pivotal in The Legend of Gangsta Cru. LOL!!! I'm a legend, or at least I want to be one. 3 things for you to do, I feel sleepy so I'm ending this:

Cop that David Banner!!!
Cop that Killer Mike!!!
Cop that Nas!!!

Until we next meet... Holla at me.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... Yawning

Sleepy as all hell

That's real.

Hey, thought I'd lay a blog down. Ain't shit changing but the date on the calendar and time on the clock. I don't know why, but my days fucking suck. My nights are regular... My ass is sleeping!!! Got to get in as much practice as possible. That shit is hard considering I'm going to be at work from 10 am-5 pm. Guess I'm going to quarantine myself in my room. Need to blast some music and zone the fuck out. Only the strong survive and I haven't made it this far to give up. Of course, relatively speaking, I haven't made it too far to begin with. But fuck it, yo. I don't ask niggas for shit. I don't beg niggas for shit. I respect y'all and what y'all do, but I'm not the one. Let me say it like Cube, I ain't the one. The shit as far as asking niggas for help isn't out of the question, but shit, niggas flatter themselves. They think because you ask them to do shit, that you're conceding or some shit. I'm not saying I support Obama, but the only way you can compare me to Hillary Clinton is for the fact that I'm a woman. Fuck what you heard, I don't concede. Fuck who votes for me in the primaries. I'm not the fan favorite. What fucking fans? I'm on my shit again. Who really notices though? All I ask is that you read the blog and visit the Gangsta Cru Music Page

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... I'm Just Warming Up!!!

In My Lifetime...

Ain't shit gone right!!!

Ha, it's meant to be a joke, but there is a bit of truth in damn near all jokes. Sometimes I feel like that, other times I don't. "It just be like that sometimes". Or so the saying goes. Shit will get better. It has to. I guess I can try to work it out. Mind you this isn't a problem with anybody in particular. You know I don't spend time with shit. No one is fucking special. Everyone sucks equally. If I had a clear cut favorite you all would know. First would be my little brother. Second are my favorite entertainers... Second is Prince. Everyone else fight amongst yourselves for last place. But uh, yeah. You see me. Blogging and shit is cool, but catch my YouTube page getting buck in a minute. I'm going to start fucking around with my camera. It's going to be sweet!!! Oh, and wait for music news. I don't even fucking know who reads this blog, if you do, good for you. Keep it up!!! Holla.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... Money Don't Matter 2Nite

Nelly... Yessir

For those that don't know...

I have a huge thing for Nelly. I don't know why, well I do. It's because I'm not blind. Boy has body, I like that. Boy has ways about him. He looks like he knows what's up. So dammit I want to know what's up too. I'm trying to collab. Get down to business. Create with him, artistically. I want to see his creative process. Hell, I just want to see him. I want to see his process for a lot of shit. But this is the most PC. Without stating the obvious. The obvious is the whole sexual side of it. Hell yeah I think he's sexy, but as an artist, I'm just looking forward to trying to set something up so we could get in the studio together.

He's an artist that I want to work closely with. I just like to watch. Wow, this sounds so damn dirty... It's meant in the purest way possible. I don't mean for it to sound freaky or anything. I am actually a Nelly fan. I just really think he's hot, so while everything he records isn't my favorite, I sure do love seeing the videos. And that's why Nelly is so damn awesome.

He's 1000 hotter than many of these other guys out in the world. That's the dream I guess. Hell, it really was the dream the other night. This guy right here. I'm glad no one has told me I talk in my sleep. I think that would be a little weird. Especially with the dreams I have. You might want to wake me up before anything really gets started. I guess nothing is official until I have a dream about it. For some reason, Nelly has been there for a minute. You're a winner babe. So, this is just because I want that. I was thinking as a Christmas gift, but my birthday is sooner (his too). So just hook that up. I want the man pictured above. With that same look. Don't bother getting him dressed up, it's a novel idea, but so not what I'm interested in. E.I.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... Yeah man.

You Bastards Can't Rap!!!

Fuck all of you non rapping ass bastards.

A lot of people see it as hating, but I really think if you can't fucking rap, you shouldn't rap. It's as simple as that. Soulja Boy sucks just like Mims, just like Shawty Lo, just like wack ass no name hating ass underground dudes, pissed because no one fucking knows them. I'm not pissed for people not knowing me, I can rap. These non beat riding ass clowns, fake ass Young Jeezy niggas are some fucking jokes. These dudes that think that because they make a record, they are rappers. What the fuck is that? You niggas suck!!! Niggas suck in the North, in the South, out West, in the Midwest. You know people can't rap in every corner of the globe. (Just a funny saying. When did spheres get corners?)

And why are you people blaming the South like nobody in New York ever made a wack ass record? What's the last album from a New York rapper NOT NAMED JAY Z that you purchased? I can say that the last one I bought was "Silverback Gorilla" by Sheek Louch. Before that it was Styles P, Wu Tang, and Ghostface Killah. I supported them because I'm a fan. Given, none of those albums sold the shit they were supposed to, but fuck it, I copped. All in your elitist way of thinking, if the shit isn't something that you like, it's automatically garbage. That's what I hate about this generation. These people think hot = good. Fuck is that? Hot = hot. Good = good. While Ice Cube might not be "hot" right now, that doesn't make him wack. Meanwhile, Soulja Boy was hot last year, did that make him good? FUCK NO!!!!

He can't rap. And that shit he said to Ice T was stupid. And by the way, to everyone defending him like he's a straight A student and model young man HIS SONG IS ABOUT SHOOTING SPERM ON A YOUNG WOMAN!!! Do you react to that shit and actually say "He's just a kid". So is he just a kid when he's talking that nasty shit that you say is "safe" and "innocent" for kids to listen to? I didn't think so. I cuss like a sailor but I don't gear myself towards your fucking children. I don't have shit to tell these kids. I really don't. I mean, when I'm talking to kids, I'm talking to kids. But when I'm rapping, I'm venting, clearing my mind, cleansing my soul, making myself feel more comfortable. If anyone can gain anything from it, it's extra, but it's not about getting money, because I haven't been paid for shit thus far. I do it because I love it and I have been fortunate enough to come up with some pretty fly shit.

I get the fact that shit is is fucked up right now. There is no clear cut genuine musical direction. Either you're dealing drugs, overcompensating with "swagger", thinking you're cool, making a dance, or "living in the past". No one is making anything that makes you say, "I feel like that too" or "I can relate". Everything is, "You ain't got shit and I do. Look at all the shit I have that you don't. Doesn't it make you want the shit I have?" Wash, rinse, and repeat. I'm tired of that shit. Stop fucking dancing around like a jack ass. Quit doing the corny ass T-Pain shit. Quit thinking you're a ladies man because a few bitches are blind and willing to sleep with anything. Seriously, whatever happened to the rapper that rapped because he was good at rapping? Not the rapper that rapper because he was cute. Or so they said. Not the rapper that raps because the drug was just collecting dust. Not the rapper who is mad 30 and still acting like he's my age.

What happened to those people who idolized Rakim? Where are the Kool G Rap fans? How the fuck are these illiterate bastards pulling "irrelevant" out of their asses every 5 seconds? Do you douche bags understand the word? Or do you just use it to make yourselves seem smarter? Calling someone irrelevant is the new gay. Because niggas swear up and down that it's not cool to be gay (I have gays friends, they rule, thank you.) so being irrelevant is just as uncool. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE GETTING THIS SHIT? The cats they claim are irrelevant are legends. You new niggas need to shut the fuck up. Because you just learned the god damn word, you think you can use it every 5 minutes. The next word you dumb bastards learn will come in about 6 months. READ A BOOK!!!!

What you say about this current state of Hip Hop AKA "The Bitch Hop Era" is retarded to say the least. You boys act like bitches, and you girls act like being in the video half fucking naked is the only possible option... BITCH PLEASE!!!! (What up Xzibit?) You really need some lessons. Shit isn't irrelevant, it's classic. So the shit isn't getting 1000 spins a week. It's still better than the shit that is.Gee which one would I rather hear "Crank Dat" or "Southernplaylisticcadillacmuzik"... Here's the fucking idiot response: "Uh, OutKast is irrelevant, what was their last hit?" Here's my response *Grabs the hardest largest instrument/weapon and beats the idiot relentlessly.* Headline in tomorrow's paper "Unsuspecting Patron Bludgeoned to Death in Record Store by Angry Hip Hop Enthusiast". Yes, bludgeoned, look it up bitch.

To Be Continued...

Shit Is All Bad

Yeah, that's that Usher shit.

So, I'm just pissed off. I'm usually pissed off, but today, more than usual. I don't know. Shit is horrible. I just don't fucking enjoy anything. It's so fucking horrid and positively disgusting. Nothing I do makes shit better. I hate a lot of shit. I don't whether I've typed that here or anywhere else. Bullshit after bullshit. It's not right. You would think I would find ways to stop that shit, but I have none. People love to say shit isn't that isn't as bad as it seems. How the fuck would you be able to tell me it's not that bad. I hate that shit the most. When people try to tell me the shit I'm feeling isn't what I should be feeling. First of all, don't tell me what the fuck to feel. If I want to be angry let me be fucking angry. People don't mean shit to me anymore. Not unless you're family. Fuck people if you're not family. Seriously. Fuck everybody. You bastards don't give a fuck about anyone but yourselves, and why should I give a fuck about y'all? You don't fucking care, so why should I?

I'm feeling like that because as promised nothing has fucking come from this music shit. I didn't record at all for shit in June. It's damn near over so who the fuck cares right? I need a demo and shit. Mixtape is dead. Friendships are dead. Only fucking thing I have right now is this damn job and my family. I fucking hate my job, not the actual work, but I hate being there and the managers fucking suck balls. At least the ones that don't do shit but tell me to do 50 things at once. Shit is horrible there. But cry me a fucking river right? Who cares? I'm just venting because I'm having a bad fucking day. So fuck you too. Aight? One.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... Fuck People

Ever been awake...

And just didn't want to get out of bed?

That was me for the past two days. Something is on my mind. Guess the shit it worse than I thought. I just keep thinking about some shit I guess. Sleeping more, but at the same time, waking up to the same reality everyday. I feel as though I'm missing part of myself. Shit is real. I barely write as it is. I have been writing in the same damn book since November. I'm usually done after 2-3 months. Who the fuck knows. I just don't feel complete. I can't explain it. Maybe I need a pick me up. Maybe I need to surround myself with people so I don't feel that way all the time. Only when I'm alone do I even have the time to focus on the bullshit. Just so happens I'm always alone. Who knows... Maybe I'm trippin'. Holla.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru

Carter 3 Sucks Balls!!!

Yeah, I said it.

Possibly the easiest thing to say. First of all, everyone who waited for this is a loser. A huge LOSER!!!Really, this is what you waited for? And then, nearly a million of you douche bags went out and bought it? As if it was something you had to have. Like it was something good. Like Illmatic or something. Uh, you bought it like people buy bonds. Like this shit was going to get better. It was going to collect interest. It was going to appreciate. You bought it like you would buy something that makes you money. Considering the fact that no rap album I have ever bought has made me money, it's not that important for me to run out, in the middle of a heatwave, to purchase, when I know a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, that shit will still be in stores.

You assholes acted like this was the only chance you would have to purchase this album. When in all actuality, nearly everywhere was overstocked. They anticipated a big turnout, and they didn't want to lose any money. So some store has 215 copies of it... And you're acting like a hurricane is coming and instead of buying supplies and food, you bought a Lil Wayne album. I hope your fucking house gets swept away by the tide. And the roof is torn off just as you pop your shitty little Carter 3 into your player. To those itunes douche bags, I hope your ipod bursts into flames. Shuffle that BITCH!!!!

Is this what we do? Waste money on possibly the most overrated album of the past 20 years? YES, 20 YEARS. I have never heard more people pretending in my life. This album is being dubbed "classic". ARE YOU PEOPLE SMOKING CRACK? Why don't we make Mike Jones' "Who Is Mike Jones" a classic too. And while we're at it, throw in Hurricane Chris, whose fucking logo is a TORNADO!!! Yep, Hip Hop is saved. The bottom feeders are winning. Because that's how it goes. I'm all for rooting the underdog. I am. When everyone loved Jay Z, I was riding for DMX. Even now, I'm riding with DMX, his last few releases have lacked the impact of his first set, but everyone has a rough patch and a couple of misses. But here's the thing: This nigga isn't an underdog. There's no one going against him in a sense. They're all convinced that he is one of the best rappers alive. AND IT'S A LIE!!! Wayne doesn't suck complete balls at rapping, but lately he has. In fact, before he started rapping like a damn text to speech modulator he was okay. Nigga sounds like he smoked to many cigarettes and had a hole put in his throat. Awkward pauses don't make the shit tight, they make it irritating.

Now I already have a blog about how much Lil Wayne sucks. The link for it is: "Defending Hip Hop Part 5" That was indication that I didn't think he was a decent artist at the time. I still don't like him. Nigga is not that impressive. Why do people think he is? Because he raps like he's done nothing but coke for 3 days? Bouncing around in his damn videos looking like a dread locked scarecrow. Shit is worse than bad. It's awful. It's Lil Wayne. But enough of this shit. I just hadn't ranted in a while. No I don't have anything out right now, but that's not because I'm not good, it's because I'm broke. I don't have someone like Brian Williams in my corner, ear, ass, and pocket. No one to pay my studio fees and make sure I record all the music I want. That nigga does. See why he's out releasing albums and I'm not? No, you don't. You think I'm hating. FUCK WHAT YOU THINK!!! And that's the moral of the story. Nighty-night bastards!!!

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... No Homo (Something Wayne would do!!!)

In the Middle of a Heatwave

Shit, I hate when it's hot.

Yo yo yo!!! It's crazy hot right now. I'm about to pull the dumb move and leave the house at the hottest point of the day, essentially. So I'm about to gear up and get out. Y'all be cool. I'm already
trying. Got a new slogan poppin' off, I think it's a keeper: Hydrate or die!!! LMAO!!! So I'm downing 5 glasses of water before I leave. LOL!!! Sike, why the hell would I do that? Have me rushing to the nearest restroom. Who knows though, I'm beat browsing. Hip Hop don't slow down for some heat. Brave it, and do hard. So that's what I'm going to do. Peace all!!! Read the damn blogs!!!

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... "TS4F"

Retail Sucks Balls!!!

How could I forget that?

World, meeting this morning. I'm gone until around 6:20 PM. And when I get back, I'm still not coming back to the blog. Look out for my "greatest hits" as far as blogs go. You'll see some "Defending Hip Hop". And stay tuned to both the myspace and youtube accounts, they'll be jumping as soon as I can get that damn memory card. Yes world, I need a damn memory card. Hell, I'm waiting on the check. Dummies!!! Anyway, Prince rocks, that's my man. (Figuratively, but oh how I wish.) Stay up, get down. New Power Soul.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru

50 Years Ago...

Someone more awesome than my damn self was born.

That person was Prince. That's right, Prince. The musical genius who has done enough for 3 generations to enjoy. Just about 30 years in the game professionally and he's still packing arenas. He enjoys doing clubs and after spots after his larger shows for the intimacy of it all. The man that inspires me to write shit that means something. The man I listened to from the time I was a baby, to now. The man who has changed and evolved so much over the years, yet remained the same Prince that many of us love to this day. The man that even said [paraphrasing] "to hell with what people want me to do, I make the music I want to make." Fought his label, his haters, shot films, did soundtracks, dated like a champ.

This man had more posters on people's walls than Jordan in his prime. Don't believe me? Go pop in the DVD of "Romeo Must Die" and notice the big ass "Purple Rain" poster on Aaliyah's wall. You can catch Prince posters in the background on Degrassi. You can catch Prince posters on the most dedicated Prince fans' walls. Even when we didn't know what to call him, we knew he was still the greatest thing to touch music in a long time. And it's still standing. I can't imagine what his creative process is. I would love to see him in action. The man plays damn near every instrument WELL. Not just for personal knowledge of it, but because he wants it on his album. Who gets paid to do what for Prince? Rarely will you see Prince coming out of the pocket unless he's paying his band.

Style is a whole other category for him. There isn't anyone with more style. More unmistakable style at that. You can't say that someone has branded their legacy better than Prince. He didn't force it, it came naturally. With all of the costumes, hairstyles, genres of music, the way he is... That's all just who he is. He's not some guy who gets bored and says "Time to change this". Everyone has noticed the changes he has made. Clothing is now no longer optional. He isn't as out there as he used to be. He's still adorable. Very sweet, and charming beyond compare. Even at 50, he'll take your girl. Don't think so, then she must not be a Prince fan, because I strongly doubt you look anything close to better.

Prince is an icon, a legend, and my hero. I love him for everything he does. Wouldn't change anything about him. Not even his height. Damn it, it's cool. I like his walk. He has a pretty cool bop. It's in rhythm. Like he's thinking of a song or something. Plus the heels are actually providing a little beat for him. 3 decades worth of kick ass music. His life has been an enigma, and a spectacle all in one. I for one, know some things, and then there are other things that are kept away. I dig it. His mystique adds to his sex appeal. Why let them know everything? Then you don't need me anymore?

And you knew you weren't going to get off without hearing about the sex appeal. Even at 50, young girls are diggin' on Prince. I'm 20... Who cares? Prince is still doing the damn thing. The music speaks for itself. He's got a very sexy mind. Even when he's not being overtly sexy, something about him is still screaming it. Maybe that's just what I think though. Prince reading a book would probably be sexy to me. Although it wouldn't be unlike me to find reading sexy. I read... You should too. Flawless beauty and just an overall pretty man. Yeah dammit I said he was pretty. He is. He knows. You know!!! You might not say it, but to say it's not true is a lie.

This could go on forever. My admiration and slight crush on him is just too much. This is a special day to me. 50 years ago my man Prince Rogers Nelson was born, and he is still banging. New Power Generation, New Power Soul. No videos to post, because he said enough that Youtube shit, but I still love him. Just know I did this for him. You rock babe, you won't see this, but hey, I just wanted t say that I still dig you. And you're very hot for 50. You said you found the fountain of youth, I believe you.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... A Prince Fan!!!

Ayo yo, What Up Yo?

Time is running out...

What's goody blog? I'm chillin' and doing my thing. Very bored today. Just want to practice some more with a newer song. It's nice, but I am missing something. Dare I say it, I have to take the swagger up way more than I would wish. I don't rely on swag. I just want people to hear the lyrics. I'm tired of people relying on swagger. It's just not as important as what the fuck I'm saying. I get it in, if you haven't heard me say that enough, it's because my lyrics speak for themselves. It's not a game. When I do what I do, I do it well. You know some people who claim they can rap. Making shit rhyme isn't rapping. It's not. It's rhyming. I can flow. I rhyme well, I spit hard and flow like a monster. You dudes make "songs". You make songs that fucking suck. Y'all make that happy ass, damn near gay sounding record shit. All you want to do is make shit for the club. Were you born in a club? You plan on dying in the club? Say some more shit about the club muh'fucka. See how many people keep buying that shit.

I understand y'all want people to like you and whatnot, but dawg, do you really think playing yourself out is the right approach. I will not kiss ass for fans. You either like me or you don't. I've heard I'm nice with it, but I tend to lose people. People aren't really into everything. If they were, we wouldn't need variety because everyone would be content with the same shit. Luckily, people don't all want to drink the damn Kool Aid. I don't care what they have to do to be more original, but do something. This shit it repetitious and tired. "Make better music" is a good slogan. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to make better music. I want to be complete. As much party shit I could think of, I know there's a ton of shit that hasn't been said before, so I'm pushing myself to not be redundant. Make Better Music!!!

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru

Progress

What's goody??

Check it out: Recorded steadily this month. Got it poppin' and have a couple of fly joints in the stash. Currently working on a follow up track to yet unheard track. See, I have this thing going all weird. Do the work, and keep doing the work, so when it comes time to put more out, you don't have to scramble. Not only that, I have a lot of other stuff trying to happen. Certainly, this is a change in pace for me. I can trust the new direction. It's not really new, but it's different from the direction I've been going in. Hell, it's actually going somewhere. Now that I have a little momentum, I can't lose it. I have to stay on the ball. Man, it's cool planning shit like this. I have a whole lot of stuff trying to get free, but it has to come out at a certain time, and in a certain order. Love, love, love rapping. It's the greatest thing. I don't have too much shit going on in my life, so this is it. I mean, people still suck, but as long as I'm doing music, I could care less.

I want this to be a good year. My 21st birthday is November 2nd. (Save the date... LMAO!!!) It's a Sunday. Nothing will happen more than likely. Hell, I'd love to have a performance that day. That would be awesome. I'm already awesome, but tearing up a show on my birthday beats my regular awesome. In fact, my awesome is better than your awesome. But dig this, I'm trying to test my limits lyrically. So now it's study time. I have to listen to the best albums I own, to get focused. I feel as though I need to recharge a little bit. Plus, doing this I have a chance to listen to some bomb ass music. Hahaha!!! So feel me, because I'm starting with "A Gangster and a Gentleman" by Styles P. Holla!!!

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

I'm in the Zone

What up???

I feel as though I'm making things come together with great ease. I have been in a groove lately. I don't need other people to create the buzz or generate the needed intensity to write. I gets busy!!! I feel as though I should keep my mind on the music. Chasing niggas isn't something I go about doing. Run your race people. You can do whatever you want, but I'm going to do my shit on my terms. These people who rely on others to make them happy and keep them sane, are bound to go crazy. People never really please me. So when my feelings and emotions get tangled up in various shit, I have to blame myself. People are un-fucking-reliable. They just are. That being a fact, I really only want to concern myself with business. That way the people I am involved with know that the fuck is up. My money/time can't be wasted, and neither can yours. Right? Makes sense to me. But people want friendships and other stupid shit to happen in life. Friends, can't say I have too many. Just people I find pleasant and like talking to on occasions. But note: My phone barely rings during the week. So even if I did consider them friends, wouldn't these people suck as friends? Yes, they would suck as friends.

I'm trying to get somewhere in life. And friends might just slow me down. Family I will make time for. But fuck friends. They let you down and then want a pass for it. I don't really like people that let me down. I can't imagine anyone liking that feeling. When someone fucks your whole life up, it's not a good feeling. Friends tend to do that shit. So I don't allow people to think they have a chance at fucking my life up. You don't want me as an enemy, but you don't have me as a friend. And I think they understand that shit. I don't call, you don't call. Whatever. Just don't try to know me when I have shit occurring in my life that I don't want your shady backstabbing asses involved with. That way, we can spare ourselves the awkward run ins in the future. You knew my name, may have even had my number, but you niggas/bitches never knew me. Think about it.

Peace, Hip Hop, and Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru

March... Going to Waste

Who's there???

I mean honestly, I can see a room, but I don't hear anyone in it, and I don't think there is anyone is this room. What's that about? Who's there??? Am I walking into every room and finding myself standing alone? Check the real shit, "17 Days" by Prince. That song is cool. I love it. It connects with me. I know people who complain about being "lonely". They claim they're lonely more than they should. They hang out with people and do some shit with their friends, but they're lonely. Huh. Now this is them being lonely. My reality is being alone. I'm alone for real now. It's not a "I choose not to e around people" thing. I don't invite myself to hang out with people. That's rude. But they don't invite my black ass either. Are we even? Nope. Prince said this chick has been gone for "17 Days" and he just wants her to come back, but she's too busy to notice. Yet she always complained about loneliness. I feel alone. I don't say shit. It's just not what I do.

Been alone for more than "17 Days". Been alone for so damn long, I'm used to the normality of the loneliness. Still isn't a good feeling. I want some shit to do. Need to get a job, but no one is hiring. Fuck it. So March is going to waste. I'm losing it. I just want April to get here. Rain seems appropriate. It's not fucking up my plans to go out. So be it. What I want, is just for someone to say "you aight?" "You want to hang out or some shit?" "You shouldn't be alone." "Let's chill, you don't need to be alone." I'm always alone... Hurtful shit.

Peace, Love, and Purple Rain.

Gangsta Cru

Can't wait for things to happen...

You really can't.

I have to get out there and make shit happen for myself. Nobody is giving out deals. Well, they are, but not for the right reasons and damn sure not to the right people. Deals are going to the most marketable and not the most lyrical. More or less, you don't even have to have decent lyrics for a deal. That shit just isn't required. Do you have a single? Can we market you? And is your fanbase broad enough to appeal to everyone? Plus you have to have a ringtone package. It is what it is. I have to be hungry. I have to be ready for rhyming at all times because I'm not feeling this "you ready" attitude that people hit me with. Shit has got to change. I'm not waiting.

Peace, Love, and Purple Rain.

February... Fuck It

Nothing special about it but my Daddy's birthday.

So check it, I'm not back 100%. I'm with my other blogs half of the damn time. My bad. Anyway, my new shit is still the whole "Fuck it" theme. Shit is still bad, so I'm still not happy about it. Check it though, I'm okay with it. Shit will not jump like that. Right now I just have to focus on some more important shit. Me and this music have to happen. Fuck everything else. Me and the music are rolling right now. I love my people and all, but this is something I have to do. In the meantime, I damn sure have to get some money. I need it for the music. Until the next time around... Peace.

2008 Shit

Let me see it... Let me see it

UGK is my shit. Anyway, check me out: I'm making myself sick with how good my songwriting is getting. I just caught my second wind. I've caught it more than once. Anyway, I feel good yo. No bullshit. I was kinda in a slump at the end of the year. That Pimp C shit hit me hard, but hey "One Day" says it all. Peep it though, I'm sure things will brighten for the kid.

I'm checking the scene out. I have to step the vocals up though. I need to tighten it up. I'm thinking about things yo. Shit is just getting crazy, if you can imagine. The fire went down December 21, 2007. Nobody got hurt, we were stuck in a hotel for like 6 days and shit. I couldn't sleep and didn't write and just couldn't focus on anything. Y'all know me people. I have to be able to think and breathe and feel something better than confusion and fucked up.

Baby... You just don't know. I feel things getting strange. Still out of luck with the opposite sex. I mean damn, you would think differently, but hell, it's not jumping off. I mean don't get me wrong people, I'm cool, but I'm waiting for the damn Spring Fever to hit me like that ton of bricks that you never expect. Guys drive me crazy in the Spring. I can't help it, but I can. I don't attack it all, know what I mean? Some guys you know... but you don't really want like that. I'm just collecting info and what have you. Niggas got me wrong for a minute though. They are on some "I just want to hit it shit". I'm not the one. Let these other chicks get down like that.

Real talk: Who the fuck are you to be wanting me to have sex with you just because you think that we're chillin' like that? We can chill as long as possible, but I might never want to get down with you like that. Some dudes need to know that shit. I look, but I can't see myself getting down with people just because I like the look. Damn that. Boys do that shit. I'm not a boy. I'm a grown ass woman. I don't want to run out and chase niggas who are clearly only concerned with trying to have sex. I'm not saying that it's not on my mind, but it's not the only thing on my mind. Niggas need to leave it alone. We are cool, but can we not try to go there?

Bored with how people address me. No one is making a big deal over me, but damn, act like you notice me. I notice y'all. We are coming to a place in our lives where we should be past bullshit. Don't hit me with some off color sideways shit. My time is important and if you value yours, you wouldn't waste either of ours. Fuck the games. Get something on your mind. I'm trying to do shit, if all you're trying to do is that shit... Get the hell on with that. Feel me world. I neglect this blog. I apologize to it. I really do have a lot to tell you. Hopefully y'all let me keep logging on and driving people crazy. I like that. Get it popping huh? Peace.

You Love Me More than You Know...

Gangsta Cru