Blog Neglect/Overhaul

Here we go again...

This will demand my attention. I'm proud of all the bloggers who commit to their blogs. I cheat on mine with music and rhymes. It's disgusting. He thinks I don't love him anymore. He's so wrong. I love him with all my heart. Blog, I love you like nobody's business, but I haven't been feeling the same way about you. My heart and mind are traveling in a different direction. By no fault of yours, it's all on me.

So check it, we're entering another chapter. Goddess Cru has officially entered this piece. Here comes the firestorm, the ink storm. The lyrical brain storm will go down HERE! Shouts out to all of the other blogs that I'm reading. You all are dope. The right fist in the sky shit is BACK!

Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain

Goddess Cru aka The Artist Alternately Know As Gangsta Cru

Never Ending Happiness

I wanted to write a blog about Prince,

Funny thing about the title: I didn't have one at first, but then I thought about how I never wanted to stop being this happy. And those 3 words just so happen to be in the intro to "Let's Go Crazy" by the man himself. Why is there a never ending supply of happiness whenever it involves Prince? I honestly cannot explain it. You would think he was the love of my life or something. I must tie him into my day, somehow.

I realize that I display a weird level of quirkiness whenever Prince is brought up. For the life of me, I cannot seem to shake this fascination, and I clearly don't want to. If you truly sat with me, observed me, you'd notice a bit of a temper beneath it all. Sometimes the temper is on top of it all. However, I can't really stay mad or even think of being upset when my only known pacifier is thrown into the mix. Like a child calmed by it's favorite toy or favorite TV character, I just don't have the energy to waste on being upset.

Recently I've been in a bad mood. Coming to terms with some long ended fantasy-based romance. I notice that I've been in a "love song" phase. Who better than Prince to write or sing about love, right? My thoughts exactly. Out of all my brewing anger (rage, lol) I can find somewhere to go. The place I often try to find when I'm either hurt beyond words, or nearly moved to tears is where I am now. More than just a singer, certainly not some one-hit wonder, and practicially the reason why I want to be an artist, Prince is my idol. He is my hero, he is my coach, he's my husband (lol), he's everything I want someone to say about me.

Prince is the soundtrack to the best day of my life, but also the score to some not so excellent days. No other influence in my life has pulled me out of whatever crazy funk I may have gotten myself into, like his music. Even the man's physical appearance is enough to put a smile on my face. Tonight I watched footage of him accepting an award. Just his walking on stage made the crowd erupt into a ridiculous amount of applause. He shushed them. And to be honest, I would have been one of the people screaming like they'd never seen a pretty man before. These were his colleagues. These were his peers, his competition, his fans and his friends. Just to see him humbled by the happiness and joy in their cheers and on their faces, I couldn't be mad for a second. Watching someone bat their eyelashes, waiting for a moment to even say "thank you" has to be one of the cutest moments I've seen.

Eventually I'll have to find this feeling without pulling directly from something centered around Prince. I've already found it in writing, but only when I've written something completely beautiful or down right amazing. But that is only accomplishment/satisfaction. While I do enjoy what and when I write, there is no greater joy at this point than when I hear a new track, see rare footage, glance at photos I haven't had the pleasure of viewing. I'm truly wrapped up in those gorgeous eyes, that beautiful smile, and all of that talent. This is my childhood hero. He makes my bad days better; he's my security blanket; he's my first crush; he's the man. I know this is one of my conflict free, over-the-top mushy blogs, but how often do you hear from me when I'm happy? LOL!

No other artist has meant this much to me. Others get props, they even receive my money, but they don't have my heart. It's not enough to make popular songs, do music videos, and plaster your face all over every magazine, website and TV show. My curiosity is forever at work as far as this man is concerned. I never want to know that much about anybody. I wish I could describe him as a person instead of a God-like figure, but to my ears, he is. This man is KING, though Prince is his title. Every "ode to himself", every heartbroken ballad, every random excursion through the mind of a master musician is worth it. Live performances and slammin' studio work, not to mention the movies, you can only measure him against himself. And at the end of the day, there is none higher than the pretty one in those heels.

I'm sure I'll be teased and laughed at for the rest of my life over my obsession. I'll be questioned and called ridiculous by people who won't see past their own judgment. I'm free to be funky, I'm happy to be one of the crazy people. In the event of another musician attempting to take his place, I'll be sure to give that person a hard time. There is no proper way to rank someone important to you on another person's scale. While I know more than a few people who will never admit that Prince is a BEAST, I'll gladly fight that battle for him. He's not for everybody. He's the brightest star in a private sky. I'm lucky enough to be able to see it. The only thing big enough to eclipse him has yet to be formed. You could say I'm exaggerating, but I know for a fact that I've never been happier than when I've been doing something related to Prince. Hence my signoff. That's my time. Peace & b wild!

Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain
Goddess Cru... (There'll Never B) Another Like Prince

22nd Birthday = Success

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

November 2, 2009 I got older. Yesterday was a great day. Last week was pretty decent overall, but yesterday was dope. I had fun and actually enjoyed my day. I didn't have to worry about what I would be blamed for in the future, or what hadn't been done before I left the house/store. Everyone pretty much shared the same agenda: make sure my day isn't wasted. I have to say, though it wasn't perfect, it was better than years in the past. I'm actually pretty happy with the day.

This post isn't for any specific purpose, it's just my "Today Was A Good Day" blog. I'm gonna get active with my music, and make some moves on my own. I'm coolin' for the night. Speaking of which: Now Playing: Just Coolin' - LeVert. Gonna start screwing around with this software. Y'all be good. And many thanks to the Beautiful, Loved & Blessed.

Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain

Goddess Cru

Abandonment Issues

The dream has been abandoned. The youth have been abandoned. Responsibility has been abandoned.

Where the FUCK do people get off celebrating Obama's victory, while letting the struggle stay alive? How do we unite for all of 30 minutes and then fall apart when our relentless hunger for change is briefly satiated by a mere morsel? Why is it that we WAIT and WANT more than what we are WILLING TO WORK FOR? I see this happen everyday. If it's not people walking around with their children yards ahead of them, while gossiping on the newest cell phone, it's the grown men who stand outside of their apartment buildings until well past the street lights coming on. Is this FAILURE IN PROGRESS that we accept?

How critical have I been of MY people in recent months? Hell, since I learned that there is a difference in between what WE accept and what is ACCEPTABLE, I have been critical. That "right or wrong" motif, that so many of us live by, is WRONG! I tell the world that I don't seek their validation. Not in my music, and damn sure not in my addressing a huge fucking problem. The problem is still the open, almost invitational, acceptance of ignorance. When are we going to teach each other that wrong is wrong? When are we going to learn that our definition of "okay" doesn't mirror what "okay" actually is? This is not to say that words we do not define should be the words that we accept either. But when we object to the status quot simply because we are not its creators, we look like fools.

I'm a black woman who is not a weave rockin', gum poppin', ass shakin' when my song comes on type of girl. I'm single, I'm angry, I'm extremely long winded, I listen to huge amounts of rap music. I cuss a lot, I listen to Prince like he's the only musician worthy of my appreciation, I don't drink, I don't smoke. I was raised in a two parent home along with 4 other siblings. I wasn't the greatest student, but I sure do impress folks when they hear me speak. (LOL) The point of this paragraph: NOTHING ABOUT ME IS TYPICAL. I didn't get "lost" even though I wasn't a fucking Cosby kid. (That show annoys me, A Different World was better.) So what's the difference between me and you? (*Cues Dr. Dre* LOL) Or me and them? Did I do something so different from other young black boys and girls?

Honestly, I didn't do anything more than what I chose to do. See, I wasn't chosen out of a huge group of children to be special or different. Ask my brothers and sisters and I'm sure they'll tell you I'm different, but far from special. I just have a different vibe altogether. Even with my not being brought up in the church, I still manage to be "okay". I'm a pretty straight and narrow lass, if you will. (LMAO @ my using lass.) Perhaps it's because I wasn't abandoned. Don't get me wrong, I've never been coddled by anyone other than my grandmother. (Which isn't coddling, it's called being a grandparent. Ha! ) And even though I did things that she didn't approve of, and caused her to worry, she knew that I was still not a bad kid.

That same thing cannot be said about those children who don't have that same infrastructure. Who is leading them, or rather, who isn't? Where the hell are their grandmothers? Where are their mothers? Where are their fathers? Where is the fucking village? How can there be a surrounding community that really only serves as a backdrop? Because the painful truth is they simply don't have a HOME. They've been left out in the cold. They were first failed by their parents. How can you bring a life into this world and not strive to do better for them? My childhood wasn't terrible, but I still want my future children to have a better one than mine. It's only right that anybody would want to make that possible. So who are the guilty parties?

Everyone that let's a child get out of line is to blame. Any teacher that doesn't try to reach these kids it to blame. Every parent who doesn't give a damn about their own welfare AND still brings a life into this world is to blame. Whether you are temporarily or completely responsible for the upbringing of these kids, you have failed. Don't say you haven't, because if you allow a child to leave your presence without learning SOMETHING from you, you've fucked up. I don't care if you don't have a sense of responsibility about yourself, that still constitutes failure. It's no surprise that many people dislike the next generation. They hardly care about themselves, yet they have to raise themselves. They're less than concerned about their lives, because no one gave a damn about theirs. (That's called paying it backward.)

Whether they admit it or not, they all have abandonment issues. That's part of why young girls become teenage mothers. That's part of why young boys join gangs. They don't have something in their lives and they're trying to replace it with ANYTHING. Be it drugs, sex, or other influences, they are trying to replace that missing/broken element. I wasn't involved with any after school activities, and I don't really ever hang out with anyone, but I'm still in a different zone than many of today's youth. (Note: If you read my tweets, you know all of the shit I voice my frustrations about. Far from perfect, and I would actually like to be better off.) Does it matter that people refuse to address the increasing number of broken homes? When will someone say there is a problem? You can't pass legislation to prevent unplanned pregnancy, but certainly you can say that it's not fair.

There is a line that has to be drawn. I don't get how people can say it's fair to celebrate a "success" in a big ass sea of wrong. WE ARE FAILING! There is a huge education gap. Separated by class and other determining factors, we are behind. Don't forget that having a noticably Black president doesn't mean the fight is over. Young black males don't all have that drive, determination, or a goal anywhere close to it. These kids were never told "they can never be president". But they also don't give a damn about it. They're not underachievers because they were told to be. They are underachievers because that is what they are surrounded by. It's important to speak on it because they are going to do the same thing to their children. (This Just In: It's already happening.) They are setting their children up to take the same fall. "No child left behind" is just a meaningless phrase. EVERY ONE OF THESE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN LEFT BEHIND.

Actually, they have been PLACED behind. They were assigned a seat in the back of the bus, in the back of the class (they prefer sitting there). And now they're on the proverbial backburner of their own parents' lives. It's a damn shame. With little to no consideration or regard for their future, the adults in their lives have failed to push them ahead. Partially due to their being unprepared to have them, but their failure can be blamed on ignorance. So the sword cuts both ways. It's trickling down to the next generation. It's no wonder why those kids are often left wondering what the future will hold. It just so happens, their future looks like a bucket with a big ass hole in the bottom, so not very much. Reclaim your role in their lives. Be a mentor, be a parent, just be SOMETHING. When you leave people in the cold, it does no good to look confused when those same people get sick.

Despite my flaws, I still see a pretty good kid in the mirror. And though I don't have everything I want, it's been helpful thus far. I'm not sure if I'll take my own advice, but I also know that I attempt. At least I started in the home. I tell my younger brother and sister, "I'm no role model". They don't get mad at me, but I don't use that as an excuse to turn around and do terrible things. While I don't know if they look up to me or not, I spend enough time with them to know they aren't knuckleheads. (LOL) We have no choice, we have the same parents. What got my ass whooped laid the path for what not to do. I suppose it was for the best, but don't tell my mom. (I'm glad she doesn't read my blog. Ha!) Without Sam and Pam, I know Sheena wouldn't be anything she is. I'm pretty awesome right now, but I'm striving to be more. Don't abandon these kids. Don't attempt a grand feat, but even if you save one, you've done more than others. My soapbox is a tad uncomfortable now. I'll step down now.

Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain

Goddess Cru... The Ranter

B.I.T.C.H. is the New Black

This pretty much says it all. A wonderful night was completely shattered by the most commonly used weapon known to man: IGNORANCE. Ignorance travels faster than speeding bullets and has worse wreckage than head on collisions. It is even killing some of the most influential black figures in America. From Serena Williams to Kanye West, ignorance (much like cancer) claims many a victim and no one seems to care. With the fading outrage from Joe Wilson heckling Obama, sports stars and drunk rappers try their hand at public embarrassment. A failure all their own, each person is putting their spin on acting a damn fool.

So why is 'Bitch the New Black'? A direct quote from Tina Fey as a special correspondent on SNL's Weekend Update, I took it and ran with it. Hell, just as soon as I redefined B.I.T.C.H. (Black Intelligent Tenacious Cultured Humanness), THESE TWO NEGROES rework my masterful reworking into Black Ignorant Tasteless Coon Humiliation. And so many of our misinformed "brothas and sistas" feel that there is nothing wrong with their actions. Those same people, who no doubt, thought OJ didn't do it. Those same people, who no doubt, let their children listen to Gucci Mane. Those same people, who no doubt, will be forced to raise their children's children. I'm sure as you are reading this, the Heath Ledgers of the world will be thinking, "Why so serious?"

Perhaps a better question to ask, is why aren't we all as critical of our own race, as we so desperately attempt to be towards others? Our every waking moment as of January 19th has been spent looking for racism, where racism isn't. Congratulations, we're about as effective as the search for Bin Laden. In case you haven't realized, everything isn't racist. Now I may be diving off the deep end here, but go with me on this one. In the Serena Williams incident, everyones favorite BLACK tennis champion (ingrate) was seen threatening a lineswoman on a world stage. The most she has done was that (obviously forced) apology, which was so not written by Serena Williams. And do we accept it? Many of us didn't even think it was uncalled for, that it was justified even. Another stolen moment (shout outs to Kim Clijsters) due to IGNORANCE. As a punishment for her outburst, she was fined $10,000. I do believe she was paid more money to even be involved in the tournament. Can you say BULLSHIT?

I'm a woman, a Black woman at that. For every 20 people that say they like another popular Black woman, I vote "nay". What exactly has she done to deserve my admiration? I don't play tennis, and frankly, I find the entire sport elitist. And just because there are people of color on the court, that does not make it a proud moment for 'Black folk'. So when you hear me calling her or any other woman of color "bitch", please do not chalk that up to my heavy Hip Hop intake. I say that because that is the title best fitting her behavior, and let's be honest, THERE ARE DOGS THAT BEHAVE BETTER THAN THAT. (Get Cesar Milan on the phone, this BITCH is trippin'!) She gets no applause, no congratulatory "you go girl" that so many have given her. More than a fine needs to be handed to her. And I sure as hell don't think she should have been presenting at the VMAs last night. But that could just be Sheena being extra critical of fuckery. All I know is she was DEAD wrong. Now will the rest of Black America admit it?

Which brings me to Kunt-ye West. Boy did I have some words for his uncalled for outburst. Some people will say he was "repping for Beyonce" or Roc Nation, but really, he was being an asshole. Another B.I.T.C.H. (Black Ignorant Tasteless Coon Humiliation) move made completely out of IGNORANCE . How indignant is he willing to get? Kanye shows up, apparently drinking the same shit that gives every coward courage. Not 10 minutes after Janet Jackson left the stage, does the fuckery take place. A completely irrelevant Kanye West takes the stage and shows his ass. Taylor Swift is moved practically to tears before they cut away to Tracy Morgan and Eminem. The internet is outraged, celebrities in attendance are stunned, and audiences at home are probably confused. Immediately, I tweet my expected "FUCK KANYE WEST" as I should have.

It's not enough to cry, bitch and moan when HE doesn't win, now he's championed a cause for a friend of a friend. Because let's face it, Beyonce doesn't seem like she really wanted that kind of attention. With both artists scheduled to perform, he had to recognize the very awkward situation he created. Completely stealing the thunder of the MJ tribute and Taylor Swift's first VMA win, he managed to make the night an MTV version of The T.O. Show. With the starring role played by none other than Kanye West. (Cues Beyonce's "Ego") Will I excuse his actions and say that he was bold. HELL NO! He ran up onstage and ruined a little girl's night. I'm not the biggest Taylor Swift fan, in fact I really like Carrie Underwood. I still tweeted my congratulations to her as I watched Kanye completely fuck everything up.

Moving past the obvious , why is it that every time something like this happens, we allow Kanye to come back and do it again? I've seen people ostracized for less. (Anyone remember Ja Rule?) The laundry list of things artists are not forgiven for is long. Hell, ask anyone how many people appreciated In the Mix; that terrible Usher movie? Or The Massacre? Kingdom Come? Dr. Dre Presents the Aftermath? Electric Circus? Dating Serena Williams? (Sorry Common, that's not a good look.) Sexy Spec and that weird ass grind off contest? You clearly see where I'm going with this. We don't easily forgive artists for musical miscues, yet we so quickly accept them back when they absolutely deserve the backlash of their often numerous random exploits. Will Mystical be accepted with open arms? He's a black artist, in prison on a sexual assault charge, and I'm sure he's remorseful. Oh, apples and oranges?

Well, we're all one short news week away from reading about Kanye spazzing out and ALMOST breaking the law. Will he be excused from having to face the consequences of his actions, if they do indeed escalate to criminal behavior? Are we going to make an exception to the rule, simply because he gave the world "College Dropout"? Or are we going to accept that Kanye has had one too many... OUTBURSTS! (Cues up Jamie Foxx's "Extravaganza" LMAO!) When your child misbehaves, you do not reward them by acting as if they hadn't done anything wrong at all. (Or by letting them perform with you on Jay Leno's show. Jay-Z, you continue to disappoint me. Check your boy, FOR ONCE!) It is all fine and well to ignore the constant BITCH FITS being thrown by so-called "role models". Think about it folks, are these really the strides we should be making? In the year that we inaugurate the first (noticably) Black president are we so busy setting ourselves back with the extreme lack of intelligence? Maybe you shouldn't have dropped out, Kanye. Even your man said "You can pay for school, but you can't buy class."

With all that's going wrong in the world, are we really trying to make B.I.T.C.H. the new "black"? The NAACP unsuccessfully buried the word "nigga" (and all of it's denominations). And with black people carrying on like Kanye and Serena, clearly it's not raising anyone's perception of black people for the better. You know how ignorance spreads, faster than swine flu and a rumor posted on MediaTakeOut. So when you congratulate people who don't mean a single word in their apologies. People who constantly play the role of victim once they've messed up. And they almost immediately seem less than remorseful, ask yourself if YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO THE GREATER PROBLEM. Because if you can sit back and see nothing wrong with their actions, you clearly accept this society as the failure-in-progress that it is.

B.I.T.C.H. redefined is supposed to mean: Black Intelligent Tenacious Cultured Humanness. It's a shame that the very opposite was displayed over the weekend. Play your Kanye West and tell your daughters they can be the next Serena Williams, but ask yourself why you don't want your kids to be like you. We cannot expect public firgures to be the only examples for the youth to follow. Realistically, the less your children see of people acting like they have no home training, the better. At least that will give you more influence over what your child considers right and wrong. I may come off as harsh, but as a black woman, I've felt my blackness enter a room before my physical being. It is a pain that I don't feel I should know at 21 years of age. And with the online race war brewing, I simply ask that you not take two peoples actions as the general outlook of the entire bunch. Yes they were wrong, yes they apologized, but that is far from acceptable. The Christian thing to do is forgive, but I will not stand silent, while ignorance celebrates another victory. Kanye and Serena both share this loss. If you support them, that's your prerogative.

Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... Wonder what 2Pac would say?

Untitled Love Poem

My heart hurts with intensity of the worst migraine
My pain stems from seeing love reduced to nothing but mindgames
Something with a shelf life, best used in a time frame
Forever seems much shorter nowadays, how radically have the times changed
No love is etched in stone, it's merely scrawled in sand
Just as stars fall out their sky, so falls his hand
Who holds onto nothing more than a false ideal
Grasping at the mirage you once thought was real
The frost reveals itself, though now her hearts concealed
It's cold year round, just imagine the kind of crops you'd yield
I'd imagine nothing surviving the early winter in her veins
As I decompose my compositions shall hold onto my remains
My soul to be contained in canisters, I've banished her
Tamed the wild child, formerly sliding down the banister
Manage her extreme views on love and the dying dream
Pour every ounce on this page, sooner than cry a stream
A pool from a puddle and a lake from a leak
You're from the world that doesn't understand the language I speak
A pool from a puddle and a lake from a leak
Stuck in the world that doesn't understand the language I speak

Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain

Gangsta Cru... Love Is

The General Theme...

Like the picture up top? I do.

Well world, blogging was more "spur of the moment" when I started those YEARS ago. I'll do my best to give you the highlight series of Gangsta Cru blogs. It's going to be a lot of work. I have to take them from myspace and do all of these damn links. All 8 1/2 parts of "Defending Hip Hop" will be included. Some of my more personal blogs will be featured as well. The poetry is coming here too. All things written... Maybe even a verse or two shall be yours in a matter of weeks.

The general theme of this blog is, as previously stated, not to kiss anyone's ass. There is no one I will ever praise to the point of looking like a jackass. The only time I "go out of my way" is regarding Prince. He's the exception. That's my idol. It's not ass kissing, it's appreciation. (make your "Prince-wears-assless-chaps joke here. Now knock it off!) This blog is to simply lend you my perspective on certain issues. Feel free to argue your points. I admit, I'm as stubborn as the day is long, so I'm not at all easily swayed. I'm honest, I will not lend my 'Words & Thoughts' to complete, utter, tasteless bullshit. I do not make a habit of that either.

This is not a literary blog. This is not a diary. (That's why I write rhymes.) My blog's purpose is to show you what I think and how I think. Don't misunderstand, I like to write, but I like to write what exists in me. Any confusion you may see in my writing is because I haven't outlined and prepared a rough draft. Some of the posts may offend you, may even contain foul language. That's how I get down. I will not apologize. My words and thoughts are uncensored. That's how it is in my mind, and this is a written layout of that very intricate place. Mind also works in conjunction with my heart. If I don't really FEEL something, chances are you won't see me writing. And that's with everything: rhymes, poetry, blogs, etc.

Quick Rundown before I leave:

Name: Sheena (aka Gangsta Cru or Goddess Cru)
Affiliation: Lyricist
Greatest Loves: Writing/Hip Hop/Prince
Dislikes: Oh really now, there just isn't enough room.
Favorite Music: Prince, Ice Cube, New Edition, Styles P (I'm weird like that)

I'll see you on the next post... Dutches.

Peace, Hip Hop & Purple Rain. O(+>

Gangsta Cru... The Lady & The Lyricist